Because sometimes a chip just needs some dip

I'm tired- like exhausted, depleted tired... not like I just need a nap. It was a really long weekend. It was full of ups and downs and seeing a lot of people I really wanted to see. But, it was also full of lots of driving and being stuck in traffic and having a baby with a high temperature. It was also full of some lame dude drama. I chalk it up to another lesson in boundaries!
My body aches & I can hardly keep my eyes open. I've been working so much and trying so hard to do it all on my own. I bring home the bacon, make the bacon, clean up after it, run the errands, play with my baby, try to grow spiritually, and try to squeeze in a social life. I'm afraid it's the social life that's put me over the edge. I've got so many great friends but none of them live close enough to meet up for coffee or have a beer with at the end of the day. I've met some neighbors and they're great. The thing is- my life is no longer the way it was before. I've realized I can't stay up until midnight & drink a bottle of wine. Instead, I play at the park or with sidewalk chalk. I also can't handle dudes. A man I think I could handle meeting but dudes- I got no time for em. Lies and bullshit- they exhaust me. The human spirit is such a vulnerable thing. Sadly enough we block ourselves -put up walls to protect ourselves, act out in childish ways to pretend we're not hurt. The truth is- it's ok to feel hurt. We have to learn to create boundaries instead of walls and to communicate effectively about how we're feeling. It's also important to realize that most times- people don't intend to hurt us. So, it's up to us to protect ourselves from it happening again while continuing to hold joy in our hearts and be vulnerable and open.
I love talking so much- I could talk all night long! But, I've realized that real and effective communication- when it comes to matters of the heart, are really hard for me. So I often find myself anxiety ridden with conversations I make up in my head, 10 to-do lists a half a mile long, running on fumes, heart broken with a smile on my face praying to god for more strength to keep going because I don't have time to rest now and if I slow down I might just fall apart and I just can't afford to do that right now.
All this being said... this weekend showed me again the importance of being present, of creating boundaries, being confident, communication, acting with love and gratitude, and that even though I'm a kind of super woman... sometimes a chip just needs dip. I need help. And now, it's time for me to figure out what kind of help I need and to be able to ask for it. Why do we try to do it all on our own? Especially when we're blessed with fabulous friends and family... why do we separate ourselves and try to go it alone? Chips are almost always better with dip! dip, baby, dip!!