Pleasantville

Pleasantville. What a sweet little word- the name of a sweet little town. It's the town I was born in and the town I graduated high school from. Near graduation Hollywood made a movie called "Pleasantville" and so now every time I tell someone where I'm from, they say "Oh, like the movie." Well yes, actually- it is a bit like that...
Growing up- I can remember wanting a new house- not because mine wasn't really nice but because I was ready for a change. I was younger than 9 because then my parents separated and I got what I wanted. This, perhaps, my first lesson in being careful what you ask for.
My favorite book was Cassie's Magic Flowers- The Story of Calico Crossings. It's about a little girl who lived in a black and white town and spent her days day-dreaming about things being different. She believed in goodness and in the heart of people and in a passion for life. One day, magic beans fell into her back yard and from these grew calico flowers and if someones heart was in the right place they would turn to color upon picking the flower. The plot, to me, seems very similar to the movie Pleasantville- a black and white town where once people found their passion, opened their hearts, and believed in something different- they turned to color. A lot like me and my hometown I guess.
I spend a lot of time with people and I can't help but think we're all just a bunch of lost souls wondering around living through our egos, afraid to be vulnerable for fear of getting hurt. I'm not certain that we feel safe enough to explore our own selves or to be honest with ourselves and then with others. I mean, I know there are those of us who try- but it's really hard. And at the end of the day- is it all simple? Or is it more complicated? Everyone probably has a different idea and general, a man would probably say it was simple and a woman that it was complicated!!!
I wonder about relationships too... simple or complicated? Sometimes I wish I lived in the 50's and would have gotten married based on my good looks and family status to a dream boat of a man who would work all day to come home to me- who would have been working all day on cooking, cleaning, sewing, and caring for our children! I wouldn't have many opinions and we would get through life just fine! Honestly though, I sometimes think that's what it's about- find someone you can walk through life with. You won't always get along, you won't always have fire and passion, you might not have much in common at times but you have roles in your relationships and you just go through the motions. (I'm not saying that every couple married before 1950 wasn't happy or didn't have passion in their relationship- I'm talking the stereotypical black and white happy-as-a-clam family). Nowadays I think we're all too selfish to devote ourselves to one person. And, we think everything/one has a purpose to make us happy. But then the passion, the fire, it burns out. And what happens when it burns out? You're left with a bunch of ashes. So, is it about comfort and stability and commitment to responsibilities or is it about the passion and the fire? I wonder if both are shown in color or if one was is black and white and the other is color?
Here is a quick story about men and women in the town of Pleasantville (other than that- there's no real tie to the rest of the post!) ... So we were getting ready for a huge party at my house & my aunt really wanted everything to look nice and she has an eye for such things. So my uncle ask her where she wants these chairs and she says around the table up there on the hill. So, they very nicely put the chairs out- matching number on each side- in a perfect line. And she instantly noticed and commented that the chairs weren't all the same- some were shorter, some were taller and we just couldn't have that. So I was sent on the mission to make all the chairs the same. I did it. And then I put a grass skirt on a trash can and vacuumed the (outdoor) patio and a few other things I found to be ridiculous! But, it did look really nice in the end and none of us killed each other and it was another great party! But, I realize more and more that men and women are like black and white- they're totally different... but we all want color in our worlds.... whatever that might mean.