Simple truth:

Happiness is not a place. Happiness is not a place you go & feel happy. I mean, sometimes you travel to a new place or an old place that holds a great memory & you feel happy. But, that doesn't mean you pack up & move there & stay until you're not happy anymore (I don't think -but it's kind of worked so far!;)). It comes down to planting yourself in a place -any place- and really getting to know yourself. Every experience gives us an opportunity for choice, for growth, for truth, for happiness. "Settle into your strange home and invest yourself." -I'm not sure who said it but my friend Mary told me that once.
Wherever you are- be you. You can't run from yourself not matter how hard you try.
I've been reading Osho's "Love, Freedom, and Aloneness" and while some of it is a bit out there for me- I've found so much truth and comfort in it. And I've come to see that even though I try and be really mindful of it- my ego gets me into a lot of trouble, it makes me miserable. I'm always trying to make sure to make people happy, that other people like me, so I can prove to myself that I am worthy or likeable or somehow better than most others! I wish it weren't true- it's so embarrassing to see it written down. But, it's the truth. And the fact is that it's not about other people- it's only about you- me- how we feel inside. We love to love- not to be loved in return. We don't love people so they can tell us how fabulous & special we are. We just love. And being kind doesn't always mean being nice I guess. That's another 'quote' I read tonight ...not in my trusty Osho book... and I'm not 100% sure I get it. I kind of think that no one deserves to be talked down to or made to feel bad. But then some people make me feel really bad so I think- in the kindest way- I could be not so nice back to them... right?!;)
Anyways- Iowa or California or anywhere else in the world... I'm always going to miss something about somewhere else. I'm always going to want to travel to see someplace else. I will probably struggle the rest of my life with living where & how I do. All we can do is spend time inside- meditation, prayer, whatever it is to check in with our true selves- leaving our egos at the door- even if just for one split second... And then give thanks. Gratitude is huge. Gratitude for the past & the present- for people & experiences- for every single thing that has gotten us to where we are and every single thing that keeps us going! And then try love- just love, love everything- without any expectations of return- but a strong faith that love will return to you in one way or another because that's just the way of the Universe!