Everywhere but here...

This is the story of my life! I'm just about everywhere but here- in any one particular moment, any one particular place. I have my moments- of course- but they seem to be very few & far between lately. We've had visitors or been visiting for the past 6 weeks & it's really taken a toll on our routine & my sanity I'm afraid. It's been a really fun 6 weeks though! We've gotten to spend time with some really wonderful people. I'm so exhausted though & trying to enjoy other company while trying to entertain a toddler that is certain your world should revolve around her (it probably should!) is really tough. So, tonight is the first lonely night. We don't have any scheduled visitors until late October. It's really wild how you feed off that energy of other people and how the presence of others in your home can be so greatly missed when they leave.
I've been thinking we would get a new apartment... we're on a waiting list. So, a lot of things have felt up in the air. I know I have to make changes- I'm just not sure how to or which ones to make. I also know I have to put work into it. But, I'm just too tired to do any of the things I don't HAVE to do in a day!
Instead of breathing everyday- making sure I get good sleep at night, eat healthy meals, drink lots of water, do yoga, make time to journal & read, and doing all the other things I have to do to center myself... I just run around like a crazy woman. I feel like wherever I am- I'm thinking of something else i have to do or somewhere else I have to go. Or, I'm talking to someone and start thinking of someone else I was gonna call so then I start texting them while I'm talking to this other person. I actually did that- I'm embarrassed! The long and the short of it is that life is short. We don't get moments back- days, experiences, chances... they come, they go. I think the best we can do is to be in each moment the best we can. We have to do things to really take care of ourselves. If we don't then at the end of the day- we end up all stressed out and frantic -everywhere but here. So then we're never really anywhere. ...except maybe racing our toddler across the street telling her to hurry & run fast because cars are coming! Not choice parenting!! I find I'm not really ever at work- with each particular client, or spending quality time with my daughter, or with friends... I'm just going in a million different directions all the time- whew!!!
So, at least- I guess- I'm aware of it! And, I'm going to start making different choices & get back on a path. Please God, help me!!
"ll that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied. And be a simple kind of man, someone you can love and understand." -Lynyrd Skynyrd